Happy Birthday Ariel!

Scheduled post alert! More than likely I am with the birthday girl in question, and am no where near the computer.

So, it's Ariel's THIRD birthday! I remember bringing this little girl home and having NO clue what to do with her.

I had recently lost my aunt to leukemia. I was 37 weeks pregnant when she passed away, and the two weeks up to the birth were the most depressing of my life at that point.

But when they put my little girl in my arms for the first time, I felt happiness again. My sorrow was still there, but joy overcame it all.

Since then, my hands have been full with this amazing girl.

She gave us a huge scare the first few months, especially when the pediatrician sent us for a CT Scan. They were concerned about her head size, but it turns out there was just excess spinal fluid and it would go down with age.

It took her a while to reach some milestones, but once she reached them, she knew them. She barely crawled for a few weeks before she started walking. I actually caught her first steps on tape. Sadly, it's a part of a Facebook that is now defunct. I may get it back just to post the video.

Her first birthday was a week after Brad and I got married, and it was amazing. I felt this rush like "We did it. We made it through the first year of parenting."

The second year was so exciting. She started walking, and she kept us on our toes when she started running. Right before her second birthday, she began talking. The talking had me worried, because while she knew "mama" and "dada", that was all she would say.

This third year would be a challenge. She began potty training, and she learned her letters and colors. The move was this year as well (still hasn't happened at the time this was written).

These past three years have been such a whirlwind. I still can't believe I'm a mother sometimes, but when I read to this little girl at night before bed, I feel so much love in my heart and I can't imagine my life without her.

Happy birthday, baby girl!

Michael Jackson's Death Gave Me My Life

So, it's June 25, 2014.

Well, not really. I'm writing this in February, but scheduling it for this date. So it's February for me, June for you readers.

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.

Anyway, so on this day, five years ago, my life changed.

Michael Jackson passed away.

Michael was always in the soundtrack of my life somehow. He was in great company with BSB and Garth Brooks. I was listening to music when my sister told me he was in the hospital, and I was watching when his death was announced.His death didn't exactly hit me until that August, and then the devastation set in. I cried for days. I wrote, which is something I still do when I am distraught beyond belief.

However, his death was the catalyst for everything that is happening in my life now.

I met someone on a Michael Jackson forum, who became my best friend (and as of this writing we aren't really friends anymore, and I'm hoping that will change.). She was my lifeline through thick and thin, and I could always count on her to be there when I needed someone to talk to.

Through that wonderful person, I met the man who would become my husband, and a girl who is like my little sister. My husband and I didn't click at first, but then we did and the rest is history.

Through that man, I was given a daughter, who then gave me the motivation to become a self sufficient woman.

So when people say Michael Jackson changed their lives, please do not scoff, as it is possible. It happened to me.

February No Soda Journey Redo

Okay so we had a winter storm last week. Our pipes froze again afterward, and we had noooo water, which sucked majorly.

We had stuff to drink, but, unfortunately, it was my husband's sodas.

I tried to stay away but eventually, I needed something to drink. So, I went for the Sprite.

And that's the story of how I lost the no soda streak. For January. I broke it on January 31, actually, and I suffered for three days after. I was irritable, and I had one of the worst headaches I've ever had in my life.

How could you have forsaken me this way?

So, I have to start over for February, and this is just so hard. I honestly wish I never even knew about soda, because it would make it so much easier. My husband was SUPPOSED to join me in this, but that didn't last past New Year's Day.

So, detox is over, and I have to struggle with this stupid addiction again. I'll probably struggle with it forever, but it was getting easier to deal with and now I have willpower issues again.

This is for me, though, so I can be healthier.

Biggest Loser Finale: Did She Go Too Far?

So, The Biggest Loser finale was last night. I missed it, but I caught up this morning.

So, Rachel Fredrickson won. Awesome, right?

Wrong, according to some. And by the looks on Jillian's and Bob's faces, I think they'd agree.

Rachel went in at 260 pounds, and won the competition at 105 pounds, which means she's lost 60% of her body weight.

Photo courtesy of Us Weekly

Now, normally, I'd be ecstatic that someone was so dedicated and had so much willpower. However, after seeing the pictures for myself, I was not happy. I was sad.

Rachel looks way too skinny now, and the fact that she's lost THIS much in a few months is cause for concern.

I understand wanting to be healthy, but that doesn't mean you take it from one extreme to the other.

I can hear people calling me jealous now, and while yes, I am envious of one's ability to lose weight so fast, I am not envious of swapping one unhealthy lifestyle for the other. I am overweight, and that's my own personal battle I need to fight. I've researched what a healthy body weight is for my height (which is the same as Rachel's), and it's in the 120s.

Now, I know that after the show, they all tend to even out and all that, but I really hope that Rachel can put a little weight back on. I am so proud of the fact that she did get the weight off, but I do not condone going so far.

Just a mini rant NSFW

I'll probably regret this in the morning.

But I want to preach on some things. No, I don'By need to hear your confessions or be asked for advice of the religious kind, this isn't that type of preaching. No need to break out the papal robes.

I want to talk about...well damn. This is hard when I have to keep it neutral because this is something I'm struggling with now.

I'll try to be as respectful as I can. Given that respect isn't given back to me I really shouldn't give a shit, but I'll try.

So, something interesting happened the other day. I saw where a friend of mine was tagged by someone in a post talking about forgiveness. The irony of this is the person doing the tagging and another that said person is romantically involved with has a lot of forgiving to do on their own.

Who do they need to forgive? Well, that's simple.

Me.

Settle down, peeps, this is going to be a long story. One in which I am a very bad person.This may be a two part post. I don't know yet.

You see, back in September, I had what would be diagnosed as a nervous breakdown, but seeing as how I don't go to doctors unless I feel like I'm dying, I'd rather classify it as the Becca Breakdown Festival, 2013.

Hmm, maybe I can diffuse this bomb I'm about to drop with humor. Because no matter how I put this, if the right person sees it, it's probably going to be taken the wrong way and there's another mark against my name in their judgey book of judgements. I think I'm destined for hell any day now, given the amount of marks I probably have now, so here comes my guaranteed trip to the Fiery Lakes.

I pretty much told my former best friend and her guy where they could shove it.

No, it didn't feel good. Okay, well that's a lie, it did at first. I cried as I did it, but oddly enough my eyes are dry as I write this. Huh. Go figure.

Let me paint the picture for you. I had a stressful day. I had an appointment for a pap smear, because I was scared to death that I had cervical cancer. I got some bad news on that day, personal bad news that not many people know about and I'm not divulging here. It does contribute to my coming BBF2013, though. I also had to wait for my test results, so I left just as nervous and scared as I had going in.

I'd been having some bad thoughts about my friend's  significant other. It's actually hypocritical of me, thinking back on it now, because I was judging hardcore on their online relationship. Yes, this is how my husband and I met. Yes, I suck as a person for being a hypocrite. I feel crappy enough so let's get off of that subject because trust me, the worst part is coming.

I read a comment my friend said, and I guess I snapped. I don't remember much of this, but my sister later informed me that I was typing at 100 miles an hour while crying my eyes out. Not the cute crying, she says, but Farrah's ugly crying.

Gross.

Anyway, I don't have the exact message but I told her I never liked her man (not true, because I did like him at first. So I am a liar.), and that if she was willing to give up a four year friendship because of a stupid guy, then that was fine with me (and it wasn't, and still isn't. Lie #2).

And a bunch of other shit I don't remember. I think I have a lot of this stuff repressed. That is how horrible I feel.

No response from her. For months. I wished her a happy birthday, she said thank you, but other than that, she did not acknowledge my existence. Except for a like on an MJ picture I made on her birthday (and to this day there's a few MJ songs I can't listen to without ugly Farrah crying to.)

 Now there was some drama involving my husband, that I do not feel comfortable with publicly posting. Long story short, her man said shit, my man said shit, they both suck for it, let's move on. They're men, I'm not ecpecting them to forgive each other any time soon.

So, soon, I start saying to myself "Self, you are a sucky person. You pretty much tried to sabotage your best friend's happiness, and you suck for it."

And Self started believing I.

So the apologies to both of them start. Both unreturned. Until a few weeks ago, where she tells me I'm full of shit.

Now, this is the part where old me would blow up and rant and blow shit up with my imaginary wand, but new calm collected me just apologized that she felt that way.

Boom. Blocked city for me, bitches.

So let us fast forward to the forgiveness photos. Seeing them rubbed me the wrong way because it's obvious that they don't forgive me. Despite me apologizing.

But this is life, and life has a funny way of letting shit be known. The way I feel is that if you preach about forgiveness, you should practice it before expecting it from others. Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it is for yourself.

Which is why I forgave both of them a long time ago, and I've run out of my apologies.

Their move.

Snow Day part 2

So I'm trying this mobile posting thing. I hate that I can't choose where to put my picture!

Anyway, the Only and I went outside again today, and it was awesome. We even made a snowman this time!

She did faceplant a few times but she loved it. She had so much fun today, and we stayed outside longer then we did yesterday.

I dread tomorrow, because all of this is expected to melt, and I have to explain to the only that the snow can't stay forever. I have no clue how to do this one. Any ideas?

The Only's First Snow.

Hello, all! I know my last post seemed bleak at the chances of us surviving this snowstorm, but alas, we are all here and well.

My apologies to those who were hoping for a different outcome.

Luckily, North Carolina isn't as bad as Georgia or Alabama when it comes to panicking and gridlocks. However, we do have idiots on the roads (one unfortunately being a relative of mine), and people really should be careful.

Anyway, so, I took the Only out to play in the snow, after making sure she was bundled up. She had on two shirts, tights, leggings, leg warmers, and jeans, socks, boots, and her coat. Gloves and a hat completed this ensemble. She was toasty warm.

This was her first snow, and she was so happy. She oohed and ahhed, and tried to build a snowman, but with this being a dry snow, that wasn't happening. She kept calling it "bubbles" for a while until she found out that this was some cold stuff.

She didn't want to come inside, but, let's face it, it was cold, and her nose was pretty damn red. So, we got her in and ever since, she's been looking outside, waiting for her next opportunity to play in the white stuff.

I ended up twisting my ankle a little, so that hurts. It sucks, but hey, with great responsibility comes great sacrifice. I sacrificed my ankle for the greater good. That greater good, seeing the look on the Only's face when she played in snow for the first time.

Snow Survival Essentials...According to Us

So the snow still hasn't arrived, but it will. Right now it is just gloomy and COLD. And boring. I mean yeah, I've spent all morning trying to get something trending on Twitter, but people are slacking. Or maybe they're not interested.

I saw one of my local radio stations asking for opinions on what they would like in a snow survival kit. Some were funny, and I decided to make on of my own. Then I asked Ariel what she wanted, and I should ask the husband what should be in his, but I have a pretty good idea. So I'll improvise with his.

So, without any further adieu, here are our lists.

Ariel's Snow Survival Kit:

• Lilo and Stitch (and all accompanying movies)
• Apple Jacks
• Kidz Bop CD
• "Unnies" (underwear, hey kid's got some priorities after all! lol)

Husband's Snow Survival Kit

• World of Warcraft
• Internet Connection
• Mountain Dew

  Becca's Snow Survival Kit:

• All of the Backstreet Boys CDs
• A coat (as I seem to be the only logical one here)
• Thin Mints (they're crack, I tell you)
• Entire series of Grey's Anatomy, in case I need to do emergency surgery. 
• Vodka. I'm sure I'll need it eventually.

So there you have it. I'm sure we won't make it two minutes into Snowmageddon. But we'll have great music to die to!

Snow Day!

You need to read that in the camel's voice. You know what camel I'm talking about.

Okay, so ever since I have lived in North Carolina, I have wanted a DECENT snowfall. I have appealed to all possible gods, I have written threatening letters to the weathermen (I was NINE! DON'T JUDGE ME!), I have tried to reason with Mama Nature herself.

Nothing. Maybe an inch or two at the most.

The year I have decided to leave this snowless wonderland, Mama Nature then decides that she wants to set things right.

As I type, the entire Southern portion of these United States is bracing itself for a MAJOR snowstorm. My area is looking at eight to ten inches.

Well played, Mama Nature. Well freaking played.

So now, we're looking forward to a bunch of "angel poop" (my cousin's description of the frozen precipitation) tomorrow. Schools are closed. Grocery stores have been wiped clean.

Snowmageddon has begun.

I don't know if I'm going to make it. I may queue up some posts in the event of my untimely demise in the wintery hell that's set for us tomorrow. Kind of like PS I Love You, but instead of love letters, you'll get a few snarky posts and a tearful goodbye to my online community.

Unless I forget. Then this would be the last post. In which I utter these last words:

Nitwit. Blubber. Oddment. Tweak.

Nick Carter Love Post

Anyone who knows me knows that I love the Backstreet Boys with every ounce of my soul. So in honor of his birthday tomorrow, this completely random post is dedicated to my favorite BSB, and my first crush ever, Mr. Nick Carter.

This guy right here set the bar for everything I wanted in the man I would marry. Now I went off track for a while, but I did end up marrying a blond haired blue eyed tall boy, who is addicted to video games and is pretty much a goofball.

I judge you if you like Justin Timberlake more than you like him.

I didn't like him just for his looks. I mean, yeah, boy was adorable, but I love his personality. I knew something was up a few years later, but I was too young to tell, and I was also in my Latin Music Love phase, so I wasn't paying much attention to what Nick was doing.

Still trying to forget this happened, actually.

 When he came out in 2011 and told Dr. Phil about his battle with drugs and alcohol, I fell in love all over again because he really turned it around. He suffered from a cardiomyopathy, but he changed his lifestyle and now the thing is virtually non existent.

I dare you to google before and after pictures.

The BSB gave us with a new album this past summer, and I went to their concert in Raliegh. Seeing Nick in person (didn't meet him, though, DARN!) was the best experience of my life. They're all great performers, but his enthusiasm is contagious. He knows how to work a crowd, and his stage presence is seriously one of the hottest stage presences ever. Go to YouTube if you don't believe me!

You shouldn't have to go to YouTube for verification, though.

On Twitter, the man-boy is hilarious. He is constantly promoting other people, ranting about his football team (but he will defend the hell out of them as well), joking with the fans, talking to his fiancee (they really are adorable together), and just being human.

November 23, 2013, the day the BSB Fandom got a name. And I got a BSB follow.

He's the example of taking lemons and turning it into lemonade, and I admire him greatly. He's getting married this year, and while young me is crying hysterically, adult me is wishing him the best in his new life.

Can't believe he looks better at 34 than I do at (almost) 23